You suffered a major loss when your husband died, and there really aren’t any “shoulds” with respect to how grief is felt or expressed. Feeling numb is a common first feeling for many individuals who lose a loved one, especially if the death was sudden and unexpected.

Other common feelings people experience after losing a spouse are sadness, anger, helplessness, guilt, anxiety, loneliness, and fear. All of these feelings are normal, and while not pleasant, they are all part of the process of grief. The key is to accept your feelings, whatever they may be, and try not to deny or push them away. This may be very difficult because it can be quite painful to allow yourself to experience grief.

Your feelings of not being able to move forward come from having to create a life for yourself and not knowing where to begin. Give yourself time to grieve and realize that grief will come and go for some time as you learn to adjust to life without your husband. Take small steps in gaining control of your life. This is a time to avoid making big decisions or changes as you adjust to being a widow and creating a life without your husband.

To learn more about the emotions that accompany grief, visit http://www.extension.org/pages/Loss_and_Grief.