While many people acknowledge and talk openly about the challenges and stresses, or the “down side” of being a caregiver, fewer describe the special and sometimes surprising rewards of caregiving. For most people, caregiving—especially over a long period of time, involves a mix of both blessings and burdens.

You are one of the people who feels satisfaction in helping your mother. Because there is little public discussion about this topic, your sisters might not know what you are talking about. Be sure to describe your positive experiences with specific examples. Some things that other people have described as rewards of caregiving include spending more time with their parents, getting to know them better and in different ways, having the opportunity to reminisce, being able to pay parents back for what they have given them over a lifetime, and even repairing or smoothing out rough spots in their relationships. Some people report experiencing such feelings and perceptions as joy, deepened spirituality, a sense of purpose and accomplishment, or personal growth.

Your feelings may differ from those of your sisters if you have a different relationship with your mother or perform different caregiving tasks that bring out more fulfilling interactions with her. Or perhaps the difference between you and your sisters could be due to your personalities. For example, you may be more inclined to count your blessings or find silver linings than they are. Be sensitive, however, to the possibility that caregiving may also present bigger challenges to them that obscure or cancel out the more positive feelings they might be able to get from it.

One resource you may want to share with your sisters that acknowledges both sides of the caregiving experience is “The Burdens and Blessings of Family Caregiving” at www.ces.ncsu.edu/depts/fcs/pdfs/fcs464.pdf.

For more information, visit:
www.extension.org/pages/Rewards_of_Caregiving.
www.extension.org/pages/Caregiving_Is_Different_for_Everyone

For additional information, and to see that you are not alone in your experience, read:
--Goldman, C. (2002). The gifts of caregiving: Stories of hardship, hope, and healing. Minneapolis: Fairview.
--McLeod, B. W. (1999). Caregiving: The spiritual journey of love, loss, and renewal. New York: John Wiley & Sons.