It is often easier for people to give rather than to receive. Both you and your mother may have that trait in common.

Have you and your mother had a conversation about this? If not, it could be that your mother is not aware that you truly would like her to stop giving you gifts. If someone says, "Oh, you shouldn't have" when offered a gift, the giver sometimes thinks the receiver is just being humble and appreciative. Be sure to explain that it makes you feel good or close to her when you help her. And if she insists on rewarding you, think of something you really would like that she can give you, such as help in sorting out old photos or a contribution to charity in your name.

Researchers who study families have often written about the preference many people have for reciprocity in their relationships. Reciprocity means that there are opportunities for both people to give and take. When a person becomes somewhat dependent on another person due to illness or disability, he or she may feel uncomfortable with what feels like an unequal exchange. This may be especially true for a parent who has been in charge of his or her own house and family and is no longer in that position. Additionally, a person who depends on care from others may fear losing a preferred caregiver and will try especially hard to please the one providing care. Understanding these emotional and family dynamics may help you have a more constructive and mutually beneficial conversation with your mother.