Released May 15, 2007
AUBURN UNIVERSITY, Ala. --Parents have a need to protect their children. Some might say it is part of the job. But educators who specialize in family and child development say that in this era of instant media it is nearly impossible to shield children from the many tragedies that happen daily around the world.
Jennifer Kerpelman, a family and child development expert with the Alabama Cooperative Extension System, says parents need to employ all their communication skills to help children and teens handle tragedy.
She says it is critical that children believe their parents are available and willing to talk about distressing situations like school shootings or natural disasters.
“Parents need to ensure that there is open dialog with their children in all areas of life,” says Kerpelman. “Let your child know it’s okay to talk about unpleasant events. When they begin to share their thoughts and concerns, concentrate on listening to what they say instead of trying to formulate an answer while they are still talking.”
She says listening is perhaps the most critical element in the parent-child communication process.
“Parents who actively listen to their children have a better understanding of their child.”
She says parents should listen closely to children to find out their thoughts and feelings. Parents should also share their feelings with their children.
“It’s okay to tell them if you feel afraid or angry. That way they learn that the tragedy is affecting you. It also gives you a chance to talk about how you are dealing with the situation.”
She cautions parents not to overwhelm young people with explanations. “Parents should answer questions in an age-appropriate way. Gauge your answers based on your child’s emotional maturity.”
Disasters and other tragic events often make children fearful that the same thing will happen to them.
“Parents should be realistic as they offer comfort. Parents can do many things, but they cannot control all situations that their children will be in.”
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http://www.aces.edu/department/extcomm/npa/newsline/archives/003019.php
Contact: Margaret Lawrence, (334) 329-1013
