Many of us have friends or neighbors who are aging. A common question concerns knowing when an older adult may need some help. How do you balance being concerned with protecting the dignity and privacy of older adults you care about?
It is important to remember is that each individual situation is different. One of the most important benchmarks is to look for a change in someone's usual functional abilities. Suppose your neighbor has always kept a neat house; however, during your visits, you begin to see more disorganization, unpaid bills, dishes in the sink, etc. It would be important to determine the reason behind such a change. Is a disease such as arthritis preventing your neighbor from pushing a vacuum cleaner? Has there been a change in the routine for handling the mail? If so, why? Just because you notice a change, it may not necessarily indicate a concern. The real issue becomes personal safety and well-being. If the person is at risk, then a change is needed. The following list may help you determine if genuine needs exist.
PERSONAL CARE
Is your neighbor able to bathe and shower regularly? Is she able to dress herself easily? Do she have clean, seasonally appropriate clothing in good repair? Could she benefit from grab bars installed by the tub, shower, or toilet? Or would she benefit from having a tub or shower bench installed? Might she benefit from a long-handled shoehorn, or from new shoes with easy-on Velcro closures, replacing shoe laces?
HOUSEKEEPING
Is your neighbor able to handle vacuuming, dusting, cleaning the kitchen and bathroom, changing beds? Is she able to manage the laundry? Are pets well tended? Is clutter out of control? Or, could she benefit from a cleaning service or from adult children taking turns helping out?
MEALTIME
Is she able to grocery shop? Is there adequate food on hand? In a cupboard or on a shelf that is easily reached? Are meals balanced in both nutrition and in portion? Are leftovers and prepared foods current or outdated? Is there any evidence of weight gain or loss? Could she benefit from help with the grocery shopping or could she benefit from food and fellowship at a senior center? Might Meals on Wheels be a consideration?
HEALTH
Can she get to the doctor or to other appointments? Are medications (prescribed and over-the-counter) taken as ordered? Can she get to and use the telephone to call 911 in case of an emergency? Can she execute plans of escape in case of a fire? Would she benefit from a sort box for medicines? Might she benefit from a mobile phone that she can carry with her?
FINANCES
Is the checkbook in order? Are bills being paid regularly? Is there cash on hand and, if so, can she utilize it? Would she like someone to write out checks each month? Would automatic bill paying be useful? Would a system for distinguishing different types of bills ($1, $5, etc.) be useful?
MOBILITY
Can she walk without losing her balance? Is she able to manage the stairs? Can she stand up and sit down easily? Could she benefit from handrails in the house or an automatic lift recliner? Would strength training and/or regular exercise be beneficial? How is her driving? Could she benefit from a safe-driving course? Are public transportation options available?
SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS
Is she participating in a church or group; for example, a card group, neighborhood sewing or reading group? Does she see neighbors and friends regularly? Would learning how to use email help her keep in touch? Would a member of the group be willing to come pick her up to attend functions? Would scheduled telephone calls from members of the family be helpful?
Such questions offer a beginning overview of potential problems. For more information, you may want to read the publication, There’s No Place Like Home—For Growing Old: Tips from the National Institute on Aging http://www.nia.nih.gov/healthinformation/publications/stayinghome.htm
