In the past, the health provider typically took the lead regarding your health and you, the patient, followed his or her directions. Today, a good patient-provider relationship is more of a partnership. You and your health provider need to work as a team, along with other health professionals, to solve your medical problems and keep you healthy. This may mean asking questions if your health provider’s explanations or instructions are unclear, bringing up problems even if you're not specifically asked about them, and letting your provider know if you have concerns about a particular treatment or change in your daily life.
Taking an active role in your health care puts the responsibility for good communication on both you and your health provider. Your health provider may ask you how things are going in your life. This is not being impolite or nosy – information about what is happening in your life may be useful from a medical standpoint. Let your health provider know about any major changes or stresses in your life, such as the death of a loved one, but do not feel pressured to go into great detail. Remember the line from the old "Dragnet" television show: “Just the facts, ma’am.”
It is tempting to say what you think your provider wants to hear; for example, that you smoke less than you used to, or that you eat a more balanced diet than you do. While this is what many people do, it is not in your best interest. Your health care provider can suggest the best treatment only if you say what is really going on in your life. Also, asking questions is important to good communication with your provider. If you do not ask questions, he or she may assume you already know the answer or that you do not want more information. Take the initiative and ask questions when you do not know the meaning of a word, when instructions are not clear, or when you just need more information.
Share your point of view about the visit and speak up if you feel rushed, worried or uncomfortable. If necessary, you can offer to return for a second visit to discuss your concerns. Try to voice your feelings in a positive way and remember that your health provider may not be able to answer all your questions However, most providers will tell you when they do not have answers and may help you find the information you need or refer you to a specialist. If a health provider regularly brushes off your questions or symptoms as simply a part of aging, think about looking for another provider.
When a diagnosis is made, ask your health provider to tell you the name of the condition and why he or she thinks you have it. Ask how it may affect you and how long it might last. Some medical problems never go away completely; however, they may be treated or managed. You should also make it a point to ask what else your condition might be. Or, perhaps ask what is the worst thing that your condition might be.
Giving and getting information are two important steps in talking with your doctor. The third big step is making decisions about your care. Ask about different treatments – you will benefit most from a treatment when you know what is happening and are involved in making decisions about it. Make sure you understand what your treatment involves and what it will or will not do. Have your health provider give you directions in writing and feel free to ask questions. If your provider suggests a treatment that makes you uncomfortable, ask if there are other treatments that might work. If cost is a concern, ask your healthcare provider if less expensive choices are available. In many cases, your provider may be able to work with you to develop a treatment plan that meets your needs.
Also, remember to consider your own values and circumstances. When thinking about the pros and cons of a treatment, do not forget to consider its impact on your overall life. Providers need to know about these practical matters and can work with you to develop a treatment plan that meets your needs.
Getting a second opinion may be important, but use caution as it often leads to conflicting advice. The second provider may contradict the first. If this happens, you can talk more with your first provider about the differences or go to a third. However, before you seek additional opinions, you may want to check with your insurance to make sure that the visits will be paid by the insurance. Some things you might look for in a different health provider for a second or subsequent opinion might be
- A provider affiliated with a hospital or clinic other than your original one
- A staff member at a research and teaching hospital
- A specialist who may be more experienced with your problem
Telling your health provider you want to see someone else for a second opinion can be awkward, particularly if you have known him or her for years. A good provider should not be insulted and many will recommend that option to you. A couple of suggestions for what you should and should not say to your health provider include:
- Say: "This is a difficult decision for me and I'd like to learn about other treatments than the one we discussed. Can you recommend someone I could talk to?"
- Do not say: "You do not know what you are talking about. I do not like you. I am not sure if you are a good doctor." Comments like these would put anyone on the defensive.
For additional information visit:
- University of Georgia Family & Consumer Sciences, Senior Sense newsletter article: Finding a New Health Care Provider.
- Medline Plus, part of the National Institutes of Health: www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/talkingwithyourdoctor.html.
