Released June 15, 2009
STILLWATER, Okla. – When parents learn that their child is being bullied by another child on the playground or during a play date, parents are usually swift in taking action.
However, with advances in technology, the bully and the person being bullied do not even have to be face to face, said Debbie Richardson, Oklahoma State University Cooperative Extension parenting assistant specialist.
“There are a number of social networking sites that are very popular with children, teens and young adults. Sites such as MySpace, Facebook and Titter are ways in which young people stay connected,” Richardson said. “Text messaging via cell phone or instant messaging on the computer also are means of communication. Unfortunately, these communication vehicles are avenues for bullies to find victims.”
Cyber bullying refers to sending hurtful messages or posting information that may damage a person’s reputation or friendships through either the Internet or cell phones. Examples include threats, angry or vulgar language, insults, gossip or rumors, pretending to be someone else to get another person in trouble or danger, sharing secrets, embarrassing details or images or other harassment.
Parents, teachers or other adult mentors can coach children to use the same critical thinking and problem-solving skills for cyber bullying that would be used in any other difficult situation.
Richardson said the more youth think before pressing the send key, the less likely they will be to send a message that could get them into trouble.
Teach children of any age to never provide any personal information or images electronically that could be used against them. Also, examine how the child or teen is communicating with others and stress the importance of not engaging in bullying or personally harmful activities whether on the Internet or phone texts.
“If your child receives a threatening text message or instant message, make sure he or she doesn’t respond to it. Your child should let you know as soon as possible that an unacceptable message has come in,” she said. “It’s a good idea to save or print the message to keep a record, and then delete it from the phone or computer.”
If necessary, talk to your wireless provider or your Internet service provider about blocking specific phone numbers and e-mail addresses in an effort to deter inappropriate messages. In addition, keep contact information of close friends and family in a child’s address book.
“Communication is your best defense against text bullying. Parents may know they need to talk to their children about sex, drugs or relationships,” Richardson said. “It’s vital that parents also let their children know how to use their phones and with whom. Just as you supervise children in the real world, you also have to monitor them in the cyber world as well. Monitor their cell phone use and know who they are texting and who is texting them. Remind children that monitoring them is simply part of the job of being a parent.”
Be open to your child when he or she comes to you with a bullying text message. Do not take away the child’s phone privileges. Instead, talk to the child about the consequences of cyber bullying. If necessary, have everyone keep their phones in a central location when they are at home.
Any threats of harm or other potentially damaging behavior should also be immediately reported to the child’s school and/or local law enforcement.
“Cyber bulling is no different than bullying in person. It’s something that must be taken seriously,” Richardson said.
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Contact: Risha Gedon, 405-744-3625, trisha.gedon@okstate.edu
