Released July 15, 2009
MANHATTAN, Kan. – Parents who fret about sending their first child to school may later send his or her siblings off without a second thought, a Kansas State University child development specialist said.
While not the first in the family to enter school, most children can, however, benefit from parental attention when settling into a new school year, said Charles A. “Chuck” Smith, Kansas State University Research and Extension child development specialist.
A new school year requires transitions for children and their parents, said Smith, who explained that the age of the child will influence recommendations for parents.
“A child who attended a neighborhood pre-school and is now entering kindergarten in a larger school building housing primary grades can benefit from some practice runs,” he said. He encourages parents to walk with their student to and from the school (or the bus stop) to learn the route and practice crossing the street.
Schools often will host a parents’ night or get-acquainted open house, said Smith, who encouraged families to attend and, while at the school, to help the child find his or her classroom, locker or coatroom, restroom, lunchroom, and, yes, to even try out the playground.
Meeting a child’s teacher is a plus, but Smith also recommends that parents make an appointment to meet with a teacher (without a child present) to share special needs.
“Children want to fit in and may be self conscious about allergies, yet a teacher will need to be in the know to pick up on early symptoms,” Smith said.
“Let your child’s teacher know that you are concerned about his education,” he added. Ask: “What can we do to help support our child’s education?”
Making an effort to get acquainted with a child’s teacher lets a child know that parents are concerned about his or her education and sets the stage for successful interaction at parent-teacher conferences during the year, the child development specialist said.
Parents may be very involved when a child is starting school, but parental involvement and support for education should be ongoing, Smith said.
Children pick up on their parents’ interest – or lack thereof, he said.
By the time a child has reached the third or fourth grade, parents may recognize that he or she is doing well in some areas, Smith said. Still, with any change – advancement to the next grade level, making the change from elementary to middle school or to a larger school in a different location, or new teacher – even a seemingly well-adjusted child can be fearful and likely to benefit from parental interest and reassurance.
“Though reassuring a child is important, continue to maintain expectations and structure within the home,” Smith said.
“Children typically do better when they know what to expect,” said Smith, who encouraged parents to strive to maintain a consistent routine, such as fairly regular bedtime hours, time allowed for eating breakfast, and time for the family to come back together in the evening.
And, if you want to know how a child’s school day went, don’t ask: “How was your day?” Asking a direct question can put a child on the spot, said Smith, who encourages parents to share an interesting or unusual note about their day as an invitation for conversation.
Younger children often will be eager to pipe up about their experiences, while teens, who are protective of their privacy, are more likely to share when doing something else, such as riding along on an errand, or better yet, practicing his or her driving while joining a parent on a trip to the store.
Smith also encourages parents to free-up time for homework, to provide a quiet place for children to study, and to be available to answer questions, but to not to do the homework.
“Let the child take pride in his or her work,” said Smith, who encouraged parents to praise effort, rather than grades.
“If a child balks at doing his homework, he also may learn from accepting the consequences for the failure to do the work,” said Smith, who reminded parents that a child should not be expected to have the same skills and abilities or to get the same grades as his or her parents or siblings.
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http://www.oznet.ksu.edu/ksrenews/story/help_child071509.aspx
Source: Charles A. “Chuck” Smith, 785-532-1946, casmith@ksu.edu
Writer: Nancy Peterson, nancyp@ksu.edu
