Released August 7, 2009
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. - Parents shouldn't trivialize any big worries small children might have before the first day of kindergarten or pre-school, according to Wally Goddard, professor of family life for the University of Arkansas Division of Agriculture.
"Those worries are real," he said. "We say, ‘Oh, don't be silly,' or ‘Nothing's going to happen,' or ‘You'll be fine,' or ‘A million other kids are going to school today and they're fine, why are you being such a big baby?' which very effectively increases the child's anxiety."
"It increases it in two ways - first, it makes them feel that they're stupid to feel the way they do feel," Goddard said. "And it also increases their anxiety by making us the enemy in addition to whatever other ‘enemies' they are experiencing in their environment."
Instead of minimizing the child's fears, acknowledge the child's anxiety by giving them a chance to talk about their fears. Show compassion. Then ask the child to work with you to come up with potential solutions to each of their fears. The message to the child is that anxiety is normal - but you have the resources to find solutions, he said.
When the first day of school does roll around, allow extra time.
"You might even ask the teacher ahead of time if it would be OK to stay in the classroom with your child for the first hour or so if you expect that the transition will be difficult for your child," Goddard said.
"The point is to be as available as they want but no more than that," he said. "Help them get settled in so they know, ‘Oh, that's where the toys are,' or ‘Oh, that's where the paper is,' and help them get oriented, but not be intrusive, not take over the classroom but just be available as much as the child needs."
Taking care to arm children with the skills they need to be successful in new settings will help ensure their future success, and even parents who are anxious about letting their little ones march toward independence can rest easier knowing their children are prepared.
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http://www.uaex.edu/news/august2009/0807firstday.htm
Editor: Elizabeth Fortune, (501) 671-2120, efortune@uaex.edu
