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Your Child is Almost Four and Wants to Dress Herself

Last Updated: September 14, 2009

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Parenting Tips for Your 45-46 Month Old Child

Learning to get dressed without your help may take more time and practice than you expect. You and your child may both be frustrated at first. Just like any new skill, you need patience.

You can provide chances for your child to practice getting dressed. Dolls, fabric books and toys can provide practice with buttons, snaps and zippers. Playing dress-up gives the chance to put on clothing without rushing.

It is important to encourage your child’s attempts at dressing, even if she does not get everything right. If her shoes are on the wrong feet, comment on her attempt to put them on, before pointing out that they are on the wrong feet.

Instead of choosing your child’s outfit when you are rushed, help your child pick out her outfit the night before. You and your child can set up some ground rules such as:

  • shoes must be worn when going outside
  • underwear gets changed every day

Arrange your child’s clothes so she can get to them by installing a lower clothes bar in the closet or by putting clothes in the lower drawers of the dresser. You can keep your child from choosing an inappropriate outfit, such as a sleeveless shirt and shorts in the winter, by putting them out of reach.

The color or design combinations that your child will put together may surprise you. It is okay to let her choose the outfits, as long as they are appropriate for the weather. This is just another way of her showing independence. Let her know if there are times when you will have the final say on what she wears, such as holidays or special events.


Learn more about Your Child: 45-46 Months from Just In Time Parenting. You can also go to our Resource Links for additional information on child care and development.


Note to Parents: When reading this newsletter, remember: Every baby is different. Children may do things earlier or later than described here. This newsletter gives equal space and time to both sexes. If he or she is used, we are talking about all babies.
References: These materials were adapted by authors from Extension Just in Time Parenting Newsletters in California, Delaware, Georgia, Iowa, Kentucky, Maine, Tennessee, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Mexico, and Wisconsin.

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