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Young Children Do Not Understand Lying or Stealing

Last Updated: September 14, 2009

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Parenting Tips for Your 31-32 Month Old Toddler

Children who are 2½ to 3 years old do not understand about lying or stealing. It is common for them to say things that may not be true and to take things they want even if these things do not belong to them. Children who do this are not trying to misbehave. What they need from you now is gentle teaching, not punishment.

Tell your child you do not want him saying things that are not true or taking things that are not his. Explain why this is so. When he lies to you, remind him that you want him to be truthful. Do not call your child a liar or a thief. He could come to believe these labels and feel there is nothing he can do to change. He might even begin to feel that lying makes him feel special and decide he does not want to change.

Your child is learning about right and wrong. He is finding out the difference between make believe (which may become lying) and reality. He is learning that he cannot get what he wants by taking it. This kind of learning and self-control takes time.

You will probably be helping him with this for the next couple of years. Be patient, firm, and loving. Show him that you do not lie or steal. In time, your child will come to imitate you, not because he is afraid of punishment, but because he wants to do what is right.


Learn more about Your Toddler: 31-32 Months from Just In Time Parenting. You can also go to our Resource Links for additional information on child care and development.


Note to Parents: When reading this newsletter, remember: Every baby is different. Children may do things earlier or later than described here. This newsletter gives equal space and time to both sexes. If he or she is used, we are talking about all babies.
References: These materials were adapted by authors from Extension Just in Time Parenting Newsletters in California, Delaware, Georgia, Iowa, Kentucky, Maine, Tennessee, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Mexico, and Wisconsin.

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