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Change “You” Messages to “I” Messages to Lower Your Stress

Last Updated: September 14, 2009

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Parenting Tips for Your 29-30 Month Old Toddler

Sometimes angry feelings and stress are caused by the way people talk to each other. You can reduce your stress by changing the way you say things. It doesn’t mean you should hold things inside, but simply that you should say them in a different way.

Things we say to others often have the word “you” in them. For example, you might say, “You’re always telling me how to care for my child!” If you give the same message with “I” in it, the other person might not get so irritated.

You could say, “l feel like a child myself when someone tells me what to do.” Try turning “you” messages into “I” messages. This may make your conversations less stressful.


Learn more about Your Toddler: 29-30 Months from Just In Time Parenting. You can also go to our Resource Links for additional information on child care and development.


Note to Parents: When reading this newsletter, remember: Every baby is different. Children may do things earlier or later than described here. This newsletter gives equal space and time to both sexes. If he or she is used, we are talking about all babies.
References: These materials were adapted by authors from Extension Just in Time Parenting Newsletters in California, Delaware, Georgia, Iowa, Kentucky, Maine, Tennessee, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Mexico, and Wisconsin.

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