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Toddlers Will Test Their Independence and Power by Saying No

Last Updated: September 14, 2009

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Parenting Tips for Your 23-24 Month Old Toddler

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Sometimes between 15 and 24 months, toddlers may become resistant and defiant. You will probably hear them say “no” a lot. All this is perfectly normal. They are more aware of their individuality and more able to do things for themselves. They want to test their independence and power and to show you how important they are.

They may do this by being negative, but that is a sign that they are growing up. Be patient. These can be trying times for parents. You need to decide early on some reasonable rules.


  • Make a few rules, but not too many. Make rules that your toddler can understand and follow.
  • Explain in simple words why you have the rule. Say something like, “You always hold my hand when we cross the street so I can keep you from being hurt.” This helps your toddler learn that rules have a purpose.
  • Studies show that children follow rules better when they are given reasons for the rules. This understanding will help them follow rules and make good decisions later.


Learn more about Your Toddler: 23-24 Months from Just In Time Parenting. You can also go to our Resource Links for additional information on child care and development.


Note to Parents: When reading this newsletter, remember: Every baby is different. Children may do things earlier or later than described here. This newsletter gives equal space and time to both sexes. If he or she is used, we are talking about all babies.
References: These materials were adapted by authors from Extension Just in Time Parenting Newsletters in California, Delaware, Georgia, Iowa, Kentucky, Maine, Tennessee, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Mexico, and Wisconsin.

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