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Spanking and Punishment Do Not Work, But Praise and Redirection Does

Last Updated: September 14, 2009

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Parenting Tips for Your 17-18 Month Old Toddler

Those who study young children agree that spanking and other physical punishments, like shaking, pinching, and hitting really do not work to teach children how to act. Spanking also hurts children. Physical punishment, or the threat of it, is not likely to teach children to control themselves. In fact, it may teach them to be sneaky, aggressive, and afraid. It can also teach that hitting or hurting others is OK.

It is also harmful to punish a child by telling him you will leave him or stop loving him. This can cause your toddler to feel he can’t trust you or that he is not important to you. He may feel insecure and less willing to do what you want.


Here are some discipline ideas that teach children how to act:

  • Catch your toddler being good and praise him. Too often, parents forget to do this. Praise will help him be good and will help him understand which of his actions you like. Don’t let him think that you will only pay attention to him when he is acting badly.
  • Tell your toddler what he should do instead of what he should not do. “Carry your coat this way,” not “Don’t drag your coat on the ground.”
  • Plan ahead. Before special visits and trips, like visits to grandma, parties, or shopping, explain clearly to your toddler how you want him to act.
  • Take toys and books along on trips to fight boredom and crankiness. Keep surprise toys or snacks in a separate bag for hungry or fussy times.
  • Set things up to guide good behavior. Within reason, remove things you don’t want your child to touch. Limit visits with other children if you expect fights. Be sure your little one gets enough rest to avoid being cranky.


Learn more about Your Toddler: 17-18 Months from Just In Time Parenting. You can also go to our Resource Links for additional information on child care and development.


Note to Parents: When reading this newsletter, remember: Every baby is different. Children may do things earlier or later than described here. This newsletter gives equal space and time to both sexes. If he or she is used, we are talking about all babies.
References: These materials were adapted by authors from Extension Just in Time Parenting Newsletters in California, Delaware, Georgia, Iowa, Kentucky, Maine, Tennessee, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Mexico, and Wisconsin.

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