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Avoid Spoiling Your Child by Setting and Reinforcing Limits

Last Updated: September 14, 2009

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Parenting Tips for Your 17-18 Month Old Toddler

Most of us think a “spoiled” child is one who always expects to get her own way, even at the expense of others. She is demanding, self-centered, and most unpleasant to be around. You cannot spoil a young baby by giving her care, comfort, and attention when she wants it.

One-year-olds who have been well cared for are generally secure and trusting. Babies who have uncertain care during their first year may become fearful and more demanding.

During a child’s second and third years, “spoiling” can happen if parents don’t set limits or don’t enforce limits regularly. Children become spoiled when parents give into unreasonable demands, and allow annoying behavior. When limits are clear and enforced all the time, children learn how to succeed within these limits. This builds self-confidence.

Children need and want reasonable limits and rules. These should be rules your child can understand and follow. Don’t be afraid that your toddler will dislike you if you don’t always give her what she wants. Let her know you love her, but will not let her misbehave.

Help her understand what the rules are, why they are needed, and what will happen if she does not follow them. Setting and enforcing limits shows your toddler that you will help her to grow up safely, capable and “unspoiled.”


Learn more about Your Toddler: 17-18 Months from Just In Time Parenting. You can also go to our Resource Links for additional information on child care and development.


Note to Parents: When reading this newsletter, remember: Every baby is different. Children may do things earlier or later than described here. This newsletter gives equal space and time to both sexes. If he or she is used, we are talking about all babies.
References: These materials were adapted by authors from Extension Just in Time Parenting Newsletters in California, Delaware, Georgia, Iowa, Kentucky, Maine, Tennessee, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Mexico, and Wisconsin.

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