Are you or members of your family homebound for the holidays? Many families each year are limited to their homes, hospitals rooms, or nursing homes during the holidays. Seniors, accident victims, and individuals with illnesses that keep them in their homes will all be experiencing the holidays restricted to their beds or at the very least to their homes. Even if the circumstances are temporary, that restriction takes its toll on individuals and families who are unable to leave their current surroundings during a time when others can be seen sprinting to the next holiday event, or hopping into their cars to buy those gifts advertised at 50 percent off! Homebound families would likely give whatever they could to experience 50 percent off the stress or sadness they experience when they are limited to their environments.
Individuals and families who are homebound feel a certain loss of control over their environment no matter how pleasant the surroundings. That loss seems compounded during times like these, and the individuals experiencing the illness or circumstance that keeps them limited also may make them feel like less of a person. They also experience guilt because they feel the rest of their families are limited because of the homebound individual’s circumstance.
If you’re the individual who is homebound, reach out to others. Let them know how you feel. Experiencing this type of sadness can hinder your recovery or otherwise take a toll on your health. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, and allow yourself to accept help. Having friends and/or family for support is one of the top coping strategies recommended.
If you are a friend or family member of someone who is homebound for the holidays, you can help by bringing the holidays to that individual. But check first to see if that person is allowed visitors and that any foods offered include those that are compatible with the individual's diet and/or medications. Help the individual remember that he or she is a wonderful person regardless of physical or mental health. Focus on what the person can do rather than what he or she can’t. Check to see if the individual can go out for a short time for a meal in a restaurant or a ride in the car to view Christmas lights. Any chance to change the environment even for a brief time can be great for morale.
Offer to relieve family members who are caring for the homebound. Give them time to go out for a cup of coffee with old friends, or to take a trip to the grocery store Illness or injury ultimately affects the whole family, not just the individual.
But don’t just stop at visiting for the holidays. Homebound individuals need frequent visits and/or calls to keep them feeling they are part of life. Be observant and watch for changes in disposition such as extreme sadness, threats to end their lives, aches or pains unrelated to their current health situation, or other changes. These may be signs of depression and should not be ignored.
Your time and respect for homebound individuals and families could be the greatest gift for the holidays. You’ll feel better for it, too. To find a mental health professional who specializes in diagnosing and treating older people, visit http://www.gmhfonline.org/gmhf/find.asp, or http://www.eldercare.gov.
For other information on how to help someone who is homebound during holidays, consult the follow resources:
- University of Michigan Depression Center
- National Alliance for the Mentally Ill http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=By_Illness&template=/ContentManagement/ContentDisplay.cfm&ContentID=7515
- Geriatric Mental Health Foundation: http://www.gmhfonline.org/gmhf/consumer/depression_toolkit.html
Author: Diane D. Sasser, Ph.D., CFLE, is a Professor/Specialist in Family Sciences with the LSU AgCenter.
References:
- Boss, P. (2002). Family stress management: A contextual approach. P. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.
- Burr, W. R. & Klein, S. R. (1994). Reexaming family stress. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publishing.
- Reynolds, C.F., and Kupfer, D.J. (1999). "Depression and aging: A look to the future." Psychiatric Services, 50 (9): 1167-72.
- Small, G.W. (1998). "Treatment of geriatric depression." Depression and Anxiety Suppl. 1:32-42
- Yaffe, K., Blackwell, T., Gore, R., Sands, L., Reus, V., Browner, W.S. (1999). "Depressive symptoms and cognitive decline in nondemented elderly women: a prospective study." Archives of General Psychiatry, 56(5): 425-30.
- Loring, M. T., Smith, R. w., and Thomas, K. (1994). "Utilization of a time-limited holiday hotline by older adults," Gerontologist 34: 557-560.
- Walsh, F. (2002). "Family resilience: A framework for clinical practice." Family Process, 42: 1, pp. 1-18. Oxford: Blackwell Publishing.
