Ask her if there is a reason she doesn't want to go to child care. Talk to your child about what her day at child care is like. Does she have a special friend? Is there a toy that she likes to play with? Let her tell you what she likes and what she dislikes. Can you or the teacher help meet her needs better? By declaring that she is not going to child care, your child may be trying to assert control and set up a power struggle. Allowing her to make choices about things within her control may help her feel as if she has more power over a situation she does not like. Let her know that she can't decide whether or not she is going to child care, but she can make other decisions. Give her choices over smaller events, such as which of two outfits to wear, what to eat for breakfast, and whether to take the bear or doll to child care. It is also important to talk to your child's child care provider. Ask the provider if there has been anything that is bothering your child at child care. If not, ask if there are ways your child's provider can also help give your child some feeling of power. For example, can she let your child pass out the juice cups, or be a leader for a day? A feeling of power and security is important for all children. Finally, your child may be indicating that she is needing some one-on-one time with you. Take time to read a book, play a game, or just snuggle. For more about separation anxiety, check out the Better Kid Care America article on handling separation anxiety when leaving your child in child care.

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