These resources are brought to you by the Cooperative Extension System and your Local Institution

Family Caregiving Home

Have a question? Try asking one of our Experts

I am the primary caregiver for my mother and seem to do a good job with all the functional things, but I have never really liked talking with my mother. Now I’m very busy, so I don’t have conversations or visit with my mother, and I feel guilty about this. What should I do about my guilt?

Last Updated: April 02, 2008

View as web page


Be proud that you are being a support to your mother in the many ways that you are. You might even make a list of these things to remind yourself of all that you do to help you appreciate your efforts and perhaps feel less guilty. Feelings of guilt are frequently mentioned by adults when they describe their relationship with a parent who is dependent on them.

If you think that being so busy is one of the things that keeps you from enjoying conversations with your mother, look at the list you made and see if there are items on it that someone else can do, such as another family member, a neighbor who is a homemaker, or a professional service. Items such as house cleaning, laundry, or cooking a meal, are things others may be willing to do so that you can enjoy time with your mother or have some time to yourself.

You say that you never really liked talking with your mother, so think about what subjects might be low stress for the two of you. You could also think about who else your mother likes to talk with and try to engage them in talking with your mother on a more regular basis. If your mother is able to go out to community programs, it might be helpful for her to get out.

Browse related Faqs by tag: family caregiving, relationships, guilt


Have a specific question? Try asking one of our Experts

Unlike most other resources on the web, we have experts from Universities around the country ready to answer your questions.