Remember how you felt just before your baby was born, and during those first hectic months? Now would be a good time to think about how your feelings as a parent have changed during these past months. Are you feeling more confident and relaxed about bringing up your baby? Are there still times that you feel unsure of yourself and guilty that you’re not being the perfect parent? Well, you know there is no such thing as a perfect parent. We often expect too much from ourselves. It’s impossible to be patient, understanding, and loving all the time. We just try to do the best that we can. Yet many parents feel guilty and discouraged if they don’t live up to how they think they should be as a parent. They have a whole list of “shoulds,” such as: I should always put the baby’s needs ahead of mine. I should always have dinner ready when my partner comes home, no matter how tired I am. What are some of your shoulds? Make a list. Try to fill in the following sentences. Just write down any thoughts that come to mind: A good mother should: When I’m tired, and my baby is cranky, I should: As a parent, I should always: Where did you learn your shoulds? You might want to think about where your “shoulds” are coming from. Are they coming from your own parents or your friends? Don’t be too tough on yourself. Instead of putting yourself down with your list of “shoulds,” try to accept your feelings and realize it’s not easy to be all things to all people—even little babies. Remember, too ... nobody’s perfect. Be a good friend to yourself.

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