Caregivers in your situation often come to the realization that friendships change over time. Even well-intentioned friends may see visits or phone calls as bothersome to you. They know how busy you can be providing care for your husband and don't realize how much you value maintaining the relationship. Share your feelings with your friends. Give them a call to catch up with what is going on in their lives and let them know that keeping in touch is important to you. Let them know how you enjoy hearing from them. Instead of waiting for dinner invitations, you might want to try inviting your friends over for dessert.
One of the major reasons friends don't keep in touch is that they don't understand the impact of Alzheimer's disease on the person with the disease and find it difficult to see these changes, and thus they feel uncomfortable or don't know how to relate to the person. So even though caregivers are overwhelmed, they often need to educate these friends as well as let them know how important their visits are. They may also feel uncomfortable because they do not know much about Alzheimer's disease, or they fear that it can happen to them. Giving them some literature on the illness may make them feel more prepared.
At the same time, begin looking for new avenues of support and socialization. Check with your local Area Agency on Aging to see if there are any support groups in your area, or go to the Alzheimer's Association national Web site for a group in your area (www.alz.org). Reach out to friends and relatives through phone calls or e-mails. Remember to take time for yourself. Continue to participate in your favorite hobbies or areas of interest.
