"I" messages tell other people how you feel about their behavior. Instead of blaming another person, which generally leads to negative emotions such as anger, guilt, and hurt feelings, you focus on a particular behavior and how it makes you feel.
Here is an example of the difference between a "you" statement that blames another person and an "I" message that describes the effect of someone's behavior. A blaming response to a high credit card bill might be something like "I can't believe that you charged $600 on our credit card. We're going to go broke." An "I" message would be "I feel anxious when we put more than $300 a month on the credit card because I don't know if we can afford to pay more than that."
We would like your feedback on this Personal Finance Frequently Asked Question.
