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My brother and I are both involved in caring for our mother; however, I seem to be doing a majority of the work. How can I get my brother to do his "fair share" with mom?

Last Updated: January 22, 2008

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Sons and daughters deal with caregiving in different ways. Frequently, daughters take on tasks themselves, while sons will see that others do the physical care, including hiring a paid caregiver. Some sons are uncomfortable doing certain tasks, especially when a parent needs help with physical care. Sons are more likely to leave the caregiving role before daughters and usually at the point when personal care is needed.

Your brother may also have different expectations than you about things he can do for your mother. Find out which tasks he feels most comfortable with or would be willing to pay for to have done, such as house cleaning, yard work, or personal care.

You need to consider that your brother's relationship with your mother is different than yours and can influence how much care he is willing or wants to take on.

For more information, see: http://www.extension.org/pages/Caregiving_Is_Different_for_Everyone.

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