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I feel so guilty because my husband’s death after a long illness was a relief. Am I wrong to feel this way?

Last Updated: January 24, 2008

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No, you’re not wrong to feel relieved. In fact, your feeling is very normal. Many caregivers experience feelings of relief because they know their loved one is no longer struggling. Caring for a loved one during a long illness can be extremely exhausting. Both the physical and emotional demands of caregiving are significant.

Feeling relieved doesn’t mean that you’re not grieving. In fact, caregivers often experience grief throughout their loved one’s illness or incapacity. No matter what you are feeling now, or what you will feel in the days ahead, it’s best to accept these feelings without judgment. Your feelings reflect your experience. Don’t deny or push your feelings away, no matter how painful or difficult they may seem. The only healthy way out of your grief is through it.

For more information on grief and loss, visit: http://www.extension.org/pages/Loss_and_Grief.

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