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What do grandchildren say about what it is like to be raised by a grandparent?

Last Updated: April 30, 2009

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Although it is difficult to know what young grandchildren think about being raised by a grandparent, research on adolescent grandchildren suggests that they have both positive and negative feelings about their family situation.

In terms of grandchildren’s relationships with their grandparents, grandchildren often describe close, trusting relationships with their grandparents. They may believe that their grandparents are a stable force in their lives and are there to help them grow into productive adults. Grandchildren may also feel a sense of gratitude and appreciation for the effort their grandparents have put into raising them. Still, grandchildren may worry that they are a burden to their aging grandparents and wonder if their grandparents really want to be raising them. Grandchildren may also experience conflict with their grandparents related to the generation gap.

A grandchild’s feelings about their parents are often negative or ambivalent. While grandchildren may want to spend more time with their parents, they are often distrustful or aware that their parents are unable to provide them with a safe environment. Grandchildren may also express a variety of feelings about their parents including anger, grief, resentment, frustration, and confusion. Nonetheless, some grandchildren have positive relationships with their parents, although these often tend to be more like sibling relationships than parent-child relationships.

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