Why do children act a certain way? They may be unhappy about a person or event, they may want attention, or they simply may not know any other way to express their feelings. You can help your grandchild behave appropriately by the way you respond.
Grandchildren's behavior may be caused by fear, depression, anger, confusion, or frustration. As a result, they may withdraw, throw a tantrum, be depressed, or have eating and sleeping problems. Serious behavior problems include hurting oneself or talking about hurting people or animals, not eating for several days, sleeping too much, lying, or stealing. A child who does any of these things may be asking for help in the only way he or she knows how.
Another difficult problem for some households headed by grandparents is being caught in a negative cycle of abuse or neglect passed down by family members in former generations. The cycle of abuse and neglect can end.
How do you break out of those patterns and create supportive, life-affirming habits? One key to breaking negative patterns is reinforcing positive ones. You can do that in the way you interact with your grandchildren and others. All families have strengths. Building on your strengths and your family's strengths will help steer a path toward consistently healthy family interactions.
Keep in mind that no matter how a child behaves, he or she needs your love and understanding. Children who can't control their feelings or behavior need your help. As the main caregiver in your grandchild's life, you must provide a safe, secure environment. You can do that through a parenting style that responds to the child's needs, respects the child's point of view, and guides the child's independence. If you are unable to help the child, connect with individuals who can help such as a trusted friend, teacher or child-care provider, spiritual adviser, doctor, or therapist. There are also community resources available at the county human services office, local county aging office, and aging and disability resource centers. Another resource that may be helpful is the online publication, Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: Through the Eyes of a Child.
