Bullied on Facebook or by Text? Dealing with Cyberbullying

Parenting October 08, 2013 Print Friendly and PDF

Traditional bullying behaviors threaten children’s physical and emotional safety. Kids can also be threatened online. What can parents do to respond? 


Parents dread the day their child comes home from school complaining about being bullied. Some parents have practiced what they will say if this happens: Stand up to the bully. Tell a teacher. Try to avoid the bully altogether.

But what if the bully doesn’t pick fights on the playground or school bus? What if the attack comes through text messages or on Facebook?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

 What is Cyberbullying?

Attacks using texts or Facebook are examples of “cyberbullying”. Cyberbullying is threatening, lying about, stalking, or harassing a person online or on cell phones. Cyberbullying may include the following behaviors:

• Posting private or fake pictures of another person.

• Pretending to be someone else online.

• Harassing, playing a prank or putting someone down while online.

• Posting someone else’s personal information.

• Posting false or cruel information about another person (here’s a brief video example).

• Using the Internet to encourage others to bully someone.

This new form of bullying is now more common than traditional bullying.  25% of teens report being victims of some form of online bullying.


Preventing Cyberbullying

Start talking to your kids early about internet, phone, and social media behaviors that are okay and not okay. These days, even children as young as 8 and 9 are on line and can be the target of cyberbullying. Children need you to set limits on data access. They need guidance about appropriate websites and contacts. They need to be aware of what to share and not share. For example:

  • Explain why they should not include any personal information in their profiles.
  • Talk with them about why it’s important that they know each person on their online “friends” list.
  • Remind them to be careful and kind with their posts. Once something is posted online, it’s there forever.
  • Let them know that you will be checking their personal electronic devices from time to time.


Be aware of the signs of cyberbullying.  Pay attention to changes in your child’s behavior, for example:

  • Becoming upset while on the computer.
  • Resistant to go to school.
  • Withdrawal from former friends or favorite activities.


Keep the lines of communication open.

  • Look for opportunities to talk informally about cyberbullying, for example, when it’s in the news.
  • Ask your children if they have ever known someone who has been cyberbullied.
  • Let them know that they will not be blamed if they become a victim of cyberbullying.


It’s important for children to know and feel that they can talk to their parents about the confusing or upsetting things that happen to them.  The main reason kids don't tell adults about cyberbullying is because they’re afraid their computer use will be restricted or that their phone will be taken away.

Responding to your children’s worries by carefully listening to their concerns, calmly asking questions to learn more, and taking a problem-solving approach will encourage them to keep coming to you when and if they have a problem.

For further information

Teen Safety in Cyberspace - Read more about cyberbullying and Internet safety in general.

Bullying: What We Know Now:  View a 60-minute webinar on bullying behaviors, their effects on children, and information about effective bullying prevention.

Cyberbullying and Sexting: Look at this website, which explains more about cyberbullying and sexting, their consequences, and what parents can do to prevent them.


Author: Jakob Jensen, Dept. of Human Development and Family Studies, Auburn University


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