Released August 14, 2009

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. - Bullying can happen to anyone at any age, but the most concentrated cases are usually in the school years. With families readying their children for back-to-school, some children may be dreading the first day more than most.

"Bullying isn't just on the playgrounds anymore. It includes taunts in text messages and Facebook and MySpace pages, not just physically or verbally," said Wally Goddard, professor and family life specialist with the University of Arkansas Cooperative Extension Service. "When we start thinking of bullying as harassment rather than a childhood right-of-passage, we'll be better able to address and put an end to it."

Ways to detect when a child is being bullied and what action to take

First, if your child is afraid to go, avoids the bus, or asks you to change the normal route to school, or says he or she is sick on school mornings, he or she is most likely experiencing the first stages of bullying. If he or she begins to lose things like lunch money, lunch boxes or clothes or returns home with clothes torn or school supplies destroyed, the bullying has progressed.

"When your child has become withdrawn or has good grades that begin to drop, it's crucial you address the situation," Goddard said. "If kids start to have nightmares about school or talk about suicide, the bullying has gotten to such a point that it is not manageable for them at all. Help must be sought to turn the situation around."

Parents and adults in a child's life can help the child deal with and even stop bullying, but it must be addressed as soon as possible. The first step is to take seriously any of the warning signs your child may exhibit. Approach your child about what you've noticed and listen to what they have to say about their experiences at school.

Next, work with your child to develop a plan on how to address the bully and bullying.

"This is an opportunity to teach your child how to face a problem and solve it," Goddard said. "Talk with your child about the situation. Your child may be able to avoid or ignore the bully. Or your child might use the buddy system to make him a less likely target. Work with your child to identify adults who could help."

If your child has faced the bully and the situation has not stopped or gets worse, meet with the teacher and principal at the school. "There are good reasons to meet with school personnel," Goddard said. "They truly may not know anything is going on between the bully and your child, or other children may be bullied by the same student, and your input will reinforce the school's approach in dealing with it."

Don't forget to follow up with the teacher or principal to ensure the situation is being addressed and monitored. Working together, the bullying will stop and your child will feel safer as a result.

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http://www.uaex.edu/news/august2009/0814bullying.htm

Contact: Mary Hightower, (501) 671-2126, mhightower@uaex.edu