No Way Nasturtium: Caregivers Who Are Highly Committed

Story: Mrs. Nasturtium has been caring for her husband with multiple medical problems for five years. Their three children help when she requests it but she does not like to impose on them. They have been spending more time at home since Mrs. Nasturtium’s husband became ill. They play cards, watch TV and talk about the news. Her husband needs more help now with getting dressed and bathing. He is very particular about how tasks should be done and is starting to show signs of dementia.

Mrs. Nasturtium has concerns about her husband’s judgment but has resisted taking over tasks like paying the bills. This sometimes creates tension between them. He insists on paying their bills and will not ask for help. Creditors have called twice about missing payments. Mrs. Nasturtium loves her husband and will do whatever she needs to take care of him. However, she gets frustrated. She is not sleeping well at night and is losing weight. She will not listen to their children’s suggestions to move him into a care facility.

Description: Caregivers in this situation experience high levels of stress because of changes in their partners' abilities and greater needs for care and support. Caregivers may feel anxious, angry or frustrated about assuming new roles their partners performed in the past. They may also find that caregiving interrupts other aspects of their lives, such as having a job or raising a family. Despite this, these caregivers are highly committed to their relationships and their partners.

In general, these are people who enjoy providing care, but struggle with the demands of caregiving. They have no intention of giving up their caregiving role in the near future, nor do they plan to move their partners into another setting. They are caregivers with high stress levels who do not intend to relinquish the caregiving role. This group is at great risk for developing physical and mental health problems.