Released Dec. 17, 2007

STILLWATER, Okla. -- This holiday season every child’s list should include a relaxed and loving time with the family, realistic expectations about gifts and strong family traditions.

What is on this list can make the holidays more meaningful and memorable for everyone.

Debbie Richardson, Oklahoma Cooperative Extension Service parenting assistant specialist, said parents may be frustrated and feel the spirit of the season is lost in all of the commercialism and hectic pace.

During the holiday season, lives become crowded with program practices, shopping trips and parties, Richardson said. Even when parents are at home, they are often busy with holiday chores, plans and money worries.

“Lots of gifts and attention when the holiday arrives won’t make up for your absence or stress now,” Richardson said. “Set firm priorities so you can give your children the attention they need. Consider turning down some social invitations to spend more time with your family.”

Children who think only about gifts at this time of year can feel terribly let down when the holidays are over. It is important to make other parts of the holiday as exciting as opening presents.

Parents must talk with their children about gifts and their own sense of values, and then plan family activities in which gifts play only one part, Richardson said.

“Shift the focus from receiving to giving by making special treats or crafts for neighbors and friends, a homeless shelter, senior center or other community program,” she said.

“Try to plan exciting family activities to look forward to before and after opening gifts so that gifts aren’t the only highlight.”

Because stores begin advertising for the holiday season so early, children wait and wait for the holidays to arrive, and then they feel disappointed when the last gift is unwrapped.

Richardson suggested postponing some activities and scheduling important family traditions for about a week before the holiday. Also, parents could save a few special activities, such as hosting a potluck dinner for family and friends, for the week after the main event.

Richardson said strong family traditions are important to children because they give them comfort and security. They help children understand how the season will unfold and will bring back happy memories of past holidays together.

Even simple traditions will do, such as baking cookies or singing. Parents need to ask children which activities mean the most to them, and then be sure to do them every year, she said.

“Give your children these gifts and you’ll give yourself a lovely present as well,” Richardson said. “You’ll spend more time doing the things that really matter and feel less anxious.”

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http://www2.dasnr.okstate.edu/Members/katie.reim-40okstate.edu/children-and-holidays

Contact: Katie L. Reim, (405) 744-6792, katie.reim@okstate.edu