Released August 6, 2008
STILLWATER, Okla. – We’re going to the chapel and we’re going to get…divorced?
This is not the way the song was intended to be sung, but statistics show almost half of those who are married will divorce.
Ron Cox, Oklahoma State University Cooperative Extension Service family science specialist, said few, if any, people go to the wedding chapel thinking if their marriage does not work, they will just get a divorce.
“People don’t get married to suffer psychological and emotional trauma; they marry in order to be happy,” Cox said. “And they divorce for the same reason – to get away from what is making them miserable and to have a chance at being happy.”
A University of Chicago study followed a national sample of unhappily married adults and found on average unhappily married adults who chose to divorce were no happier five years later than those unhappily married adults who decided to stay together.
The study also showed this held true for those who divorced and remarried in that five year period. For those who chose to divorce, ending their unhappy relationship did not reduce their symptoms of depression or raise self-esteem any more than those unhappily married adults who did stay together.
“Most people don’t see divorce as something desirable, but they do see it as the only option for them to be happy,” Cox said. “But, this is one of the great myths of divorce, namely it will make you happy.”
According to the Chicago study, two out of three unhappily married individuals who stuck it out ended up happily married five years later. This is compared to just one out of five unhappy spouses who divorced and remarried in the same time period.
Cox said it is important to remember the study’s findings are on average and it cannot be said that those couples who did divorce would have ended up happily married if they had stayed together.
“Certainly there are times when a divorce may be the best option,” he said. “At this point, it can only be said there are many marriages that experience serious problems, but survive and eventually prosper.”
Research suggests determination, a low opinion of divorce and friends and family that supports the importance of staying married were key factors that assist the couple in surviving hard times.
“Marriage is often both the most satisfying and the most frustrating relationship that an individual can experience,” Cox said. “However, the prevailing myth that divorce is the best option for the unhappily married is now being debunked by the research. It seems the unlikely road to happiness, for unhappily married adults, is to keep working at it.”
The OSU Cooperative Extension service can offer research-based information for couples trying to stay together and wanting to improve their relationship skills.
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http://www2.dasnr.okstate.edu/Members/katie.reim-40okstate.edu/divorce-may-not-be-the-answer
Contact: Katie Reim, 405-744-6792, katie.reim@okstate.edu
