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Three households shared their thoughts about developing estate plans. As time passed, each of them had to change their plans because of changes in their lives. We hope that their stories will be meaningful for you.

It is important to find the time to make plans for your future. Think about what you need. Get the legal help that you need and then share your plans with family and friends.

Introduction

Al and Martha adopted two children within a short period of time. Because both of them were working, they had to adjust their lives to include caring for their children. It was important to establish guardians for the children and develop an estate plan in case something happened to them.

As time passed, they realized they needed to change their plans. If anything happened to them, they wanted their children to be taken care of but realized that receiving too much money at a young age was not a good idea. That meant that Al and Martha needed to change their estate plans.

When Al and Martha retired, they found they were busy with volunteer work and activities. Their children had grown up and left home. In a few years, Al and Martha realized that they needed to think about down-sizing from their two story home. They decided to relocate. This meant changing their plans again.

Why did you make estate plans?

Martha: “We adopted two children.”

Al: “a baby girl”

Martha: “Right, nine and half months old and that is her on the wall there. She’s not nine and a half months any more.”

Al: “no, and then...”

Martha: “a year later”

Al: “a baby boy who they told us was two, but what did they say, he was two and a half years old or something.”

Martha: “two and a half, oh yeah, they told us he was older but he was really two and half months old. We began to develop some kind of a legal plan. I mean we didn’t have a will before then. But we began to develop those kinds of documents at that time and”

Al: “investments”

Martha: “and we also began to think about their college and so we began to put some money aside, uh, in accounts for them during that period of time as well. And, so we had to start thinking about more than just us. Like every family has to do and we were older because when we got married I was thirty three and he was thirty six. Here we adopted these two young children. A few years later so we were more like their grandparent in age than we were, you know, young early twenties parents. And so, it was a different kind of situation that we had to think about. And, we thought about it more as we got older and they got older. We realized that your children don’t go away at eighteen or twenty one or thirty. That they still are in your lives, very frequently, financially still in your lives and so you have to try to plan for those contingencies as you move toward retirement.”

How did you develop your estate plans?

(Movie translation)

Martha: “We basically did much of that through our reading and through discussion with each other in terms of what are the needs that we are going to face in the future. And, each time we redid our wills we got to the point where it actually did become estate planning. In which we talked about, you know, how if something was to happen to us, the children would have this incredible amount of money and that’s not good. And, so we had to make some kind of trust plans so that they wouldn’t have this big chunk of money to just sort of breeze through and then what? And so each five to ten years those ideas would change and with a lawyer and an accountant we would, and but the tax laws were changing at the time. We would make changes. We are getting probably ready to do that again now that our children are in their early thirties and we are in our early seventies. That we need to rethink some of the things that we did about the time we retired.”

Al: “But making out a will really puts you face to face with mortality, you don’t really think about dropping dead until you have to tell the world what to do with your remains.”

Martha: “That’s right. I mean he’s even, he’s even written his obituary once. I don’t think he has written mine yet.”

Al: “Part of it.”

Martha: “Have you? Oh, you haven’t showed it to me. But we have, you know we have talked about what we want done with us when we die. And... “

Al: “When you have children especially when you acquired children in the later age.”

Martha: “Especially when you adopted them.”

Al: “The potential that you are going to drop dead before they are themselves financially secure is relatively great, actually.

Martha: “That’s right.”

Al: “And, so you have really prepare on a line item basis what it is you want them to have for this and this and this. And, not to have so they too must learn and work.

Have you changed your plans?

(Movie translation)

Martha: “When I retired in 2000, Al had already been retired two years; we began to seriously think about moving into a retirement community. And then as you recall, that was a very financially difficult period of time back in 2000-2001 when the market just went down hill and we backed out of that decision at that time. And, decided that it wasn’t financially prudent for us to do that at that time.”

Al: “And the children were both laid off.”

Martha: “And the children were both laid off for about six months at a time, sort of overlapping one and another. So there was a great financial drain and we decided that it just wasn’t wise to do that at the time. And, maybe we just really weren’t quite ready yet. I was sixty five and Al was sixty seven and so we were still you know pretty healthy and young in our categorization of old middle age.”

Al: “Friends of ours who most of whom were faculty or former faculty either were making plans to do something that would insure their own personal security and the non-involvement of their children. You know, like I’m planning to die tomorrow would you mind giving up your job in California and coming back and taking care of us sort of thing. Or waiting just the opposite, we have friends who just waited much much much too long so that for example if a retirement community had a rule that you have to walk in and not be carried in.

Martha: “and be mentally capable”

Al: “yeah, and they waited till one of the two no longer could do this and then the other one not only could not move in with out their husband or wife but was in no physiological, emotional, or physical capability to deal with their mate. They were just too old, to deal with them. How do you pick up a 150 pound person and bathe them and what ever. They just waited and waited because they thought things happened to other people and they never ever happen to you. Well they do, and it’s unfortunate but they do. And you have to think ahead, not just financially but about all the other things that do happen biologically to people and the…”

Martha: “but we were trying, I mean, we found through experience that trying to find the right time to make this decision is not easy at all. And uh, because the older you get the more set in your ways you become and

Al: “comfortable with where you are.”

Martha: “the less likely”

Al: “or tolerable, where you tolerate it”

Martha: “and the less likely”

Al: “I can’t go up the steps, it hurts, but I could shimmy up if I set down on my rump and went up one step at a time. And, I say what kind of life is that but when I had a knee replacement that is exactly what I did. That is the only way I got up and down the stairs.”

Martha: “for a little while”

Al: “You say, why am I doing this? You know, you did it because you weren’t clever enough to go to a one story house or an apartment or whatever.”

Martha: “Then more recently we started talking about it again and with each other. And I was telling Al that we really need to do one of two things. We either need to make this house age and place appropriate and have it remodeled.”

Al: “Which we did do in part over the years”

Martha: “Right, we did some things.”

Al: “in terms of the bathroom”

Martha: “But it is still not age and place appropriate and it needs to be, you need to do a remodel that will last till your gone or we need to look at one of the retirement communities and we are not ready for an apartment yet. Anyway, I’m not. I don’t think.”

Al: “I’m not.”

Martha: “I don’t think he is either. And look at some of the houses that they’re building because the retirement community then would mean that would be where you would stay. This would be your last move. Would be that community.”

What advice do you have for others?

(Movie translation)

Martha: "A very dear friend died a few years ago and they couldn't think of doing a medical directive before it was too late for her to make the decision herself. But in order to do that you have to admit that something could go wrong. We did them along with our wills and when Al goes in to have his knee done we carry them with us. But we don't have to think about it at that time."

"If you have to think about at the time that you are going into the hospital for some kind of surgery whether it is elective like a knee or you just had a heart attack or stroke here they hand you this medical directive stuff. People don’t want to deal with it and that is why people don’t do wills. And they see the Terry Schiavo thing and they say I don’t want that to happen to me. But will they go and actually do the paper work so they have it in their files for some body to say here this is their choice? They don’t want to do it."

Introduction

Jan and her husband realized that one of their hobbies, flying a small plane, was a reason for them to get their estate plan established. As their children have matured, they have decided that their plans need to change. They are beginning to think about their retirement and charitable bequests.

Why did you make estate plans?

(Movie translation)

Jan: Several years ago in fact our son was probably just a baby, my husband and I were flying in our own small plane a Cessna 182 to New Orleans for a Junior Achievement conference. The weather turned on us and there was a point in time that I thought we were going down for sure. My husband said later that he thought the same thing but you wouldn’t have known it. He is a very skilled pilot and I am just an amateur pilot. All I could think of was---we have not planned for our child at all. As soon as we got back, we contacted a lawyer and had our wills drawn up.

How did you develop your estate plans?

(Movie translation)

Jan: I had a friend in Rotary who had gone to school with my husband. He is a lawyer. I asked him and he said that was a good thing to do and it wouldn’t take very long. There wasn’t anyone saying you should get this done except my father-in-law. He is an advocate of just writing your wishes on a piece of paper but I think you should have a lawyer. I feel better because he (the lawyer) has a copy of the will in his office. He also knows our wishes.

My parents are very much self planners. They have got it down to a science. They know who gets the Waterford and who gets the china. They have their living wills. We know what they want and when they want it done. They have their funerals planned although now they have made some changes. They have shared their plans with their children. I think this is really valuable. We are not secretive about the financial part of our plans. Some people don’t talk about it.

Have you changed your plans?

(Movie translation)

Jan: One thing I understand now is the need for even further financial planning. Even though we have a will, I think most of our estate, what little we have, would go for state and federal taxes. The next step is some protection and we need to leave something for the children and the charitable giving that I want to do. Now that the children are older and we are older, we need to make some changes. It’s been 19 years and we need to make some changes.

What advice do you have for others?

(Movie translation)

Jan: I just think that people don’t want to think about it (dying). If anyone asked me, I would say you should get this done. A couple of people who are older than me have surprised me because they are not prepared. I feel comfortable saying it’s not fair to your family if you don’t make plans and talk about it (your wishes for when you are gone). We have all heard stories about family members who don’t plan. They think no one will pass away. Afterwards families don’t speak to each other. Aunt Sandy got the Waterford. I wanted it and she took it. I think you should get this done.

Introduction

Jane traveled a lot for her job. She needed to develop an estate plan so that her assistant could take care of things in case anything happened. As her parents aged, their health declined. Jane decided to move them into her home so she could take of them.

When Jane’s mother died, she changed her estate plan. Jane says it is important to tell your attorney exactly what you want and how much you can afford to pay for advice.

She is taking care of her father. Each day is a new challenge and a new joy.

Why did you make estate plans?

(Movie translation)

Jane: My motivation for estate planning was when I was traveling. I lived alone and I worked alone and I had a business where I was traveling and you never know when a plane is going to go down or a Mac truck is going to hit you. I felt I had a responsibility to my family, to the assistant who worked for me. The most dreaded discussion that I had with my assistant was the one that took place just before I left. I took care of all the things that you can take care of ahead of time to make it as easy as possible for her (my assistant) and my family.

How did you develop your estate plans?

(Movie translation)

Jane: I was a tour operator, a customized special interest tour operator, running tours all over the world with groups of people interested in studying a subject---most often agriculture. When my parents needed my help, I stopped doing that and became a caregiver. I took care of my mother until she died. That leaves my father. He is still here. I moved them in with me and built a special addition onto the house. My father is still with me. He needs more care. I am a full time nurse these days. I didn’t need to change my legal documents. But we changed Daddy’s documents. Everything was written to include Mother. She was no longer around and she couldn’t be a caregiver for Daddy. We contacted an attorney and made an appointment. We made it pertinent to Indiana. They moved here from Tennessee and the laws are different.

Have you changed your plans?

(Movie translation)

Jane: I needed to find a lawyer to do it. I knew several lawyers in town. I knew that they specialize. I didn’t need a criminal lawyer. I called their offices. I called to find out what they charged and how much time it would take. I knew the lawyer. I told him that in our consultations we were going to stick to the facts. I explained that we couldn’t talk about things or people we know because the clock was ticking. He understood.

What advice do you have for others?

(Movie translation)

Jane: Well, I think the most difficult thing to say to a friend who is actually going to be doing this work and the clock is ticking is to say---we need to stick to business. You want to chat about other things or organizations you belong to but when they are charging $175 an hour---that can get to be an expensive conversation. I didn’t want to do that on my nickel. We stuck strictly to business. There were two half hour sessions together. The rest of the work he did on his own. Then he faxed it to me to look at it before I came in for signing. If you have a budget and if you say, I can only spend $500. That is what you should stick to it.

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