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Legally Secure Your Financial Future: Communicate Your Advance Directives for Health Care

Last Updated: June 28, 2007

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Communicate Your Advance Directives for Health Care
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If you had a serious accident or illness that caused permanent loss of mental capacity (making you unable to talk with a doctor and decide the medical treatments you did or did not want) would your loved ones know what to do? Who will make these decisions for you? If you can't make your desires known, how can you make sure your wishes will be respected? If you're like most people, you probably haven't taken time to complete or discuss documents known as advance directives for health care. An advance directive includes a living will and durable power of attorney for health care. They allow you to give instructions on these topics to your health care providers and your loved ones.

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Contents

Lesson Instructions

This lesson has unique sections that lead you through the learning process and can be viewed sequentially or in a random order. To view a unit, click on the "down arrow" icon in the Navigation menu. Mouse over a unit title to view the subunits. You can click on a unit title or any subunit title to jump to that location in the lesson. To progress through pages in a unit use the "arrow" icons located at the bottom of the text box. Those arrows will also indicate how many pages are in a subunit.

You can also progress through the units by clicking the "Next" or "Previous" icons located next to the navigation bar at the top. The "Next" button takes you to the next unit in the lesson. The "Previous" button takes you back one unit in the lesson.

In this lesson, you will need to view the video clips to work through the content. Also there are interactive exercises to use what you have learned. When you complete a unit you will need to move to the next unit by using the Navigation menu or by clicking on the "Next" button located next to the Navigation menu.

For definitions of terms used in this lesson, go to Financial Security Glossary.

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Learning Objectives

In this learning lesson you will:

  • learn about advance directives for health care including living wills and durable power of attorney for health care;
  • explore ways to communicate your health care wishes;
  • gain insights from others through streaming videos of people who prepared advance directives for health care and communicated their choices;
  • increase your knowledge by taking an advance directive for health care quiz and reviewing several case studies.

Advance planning allows you to make decisions about the type of care you desire if you become unable to speak for yourself. Your choices are based on your personal values, beliefs, preferences, and discussions with loved ones. Since it’s impossible to foresee future circumstance and illness, it’s important to think in general terms about what’s important to you.

Organize your thoughts and questions, seek information by reviewing this learning lesson and communicate your wishes. A discussion about your wishes and why you are making them will relieve your loved ones and health care providers of the need to guess what you want. Finally, prepare your advance directives for health care, give copies to appropriate individuals, and store the originals.


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Advance Directives for Health Care: Important Legal Documents

Advance directives for health care are legal documents that enable you to plan for and communicate your end-of-life decisions in the event that you are unable to speak for yourself. Thoughtfully prepared advance directives can ease the burden on those who must make health-care decisions for you. Without advance directives, decisions might be made by doctors, family members and sometimes even judges who may know little about your wishes. Advance directives give you a voice in decisions about your medical treatment, even if you are unconscious or too ill to communicate.

There are two basic documents that allow you to write out your wishes for medical care, both grouped under the broad heading of health-care directives. It's wise to prepare both.

  • A living will allows you to document your wishes concerning medical treatments at the end of life.
  • A durable power of attorney for health care (or health-care proxy) allows you to appoint a person you trust as your health-care agent (or surrogate decision maker), who is authorized to make medical decisions on your behalf if you are unable to communicate as a result of an accident or illness.

Advance directives for health care, which can be called by several names in different states, are legally valid throughout the United States. In some states, the living will and durable power of attorney for health care are combined into one document. Because laws governing advance directives vary from state to state, it's important to complete and sign advance directives that comply with your state's law.

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Living Will

A living will documents your instructions regarding how you wish to be cared for should you become terminally ill or be in a persistent vegetative state - in other words, after you are no longer able to make your own medical decisions. It includes your wishes about life-sustaining medical treatments and describes to others - including your physicians, your family and court personnel - the extent and intensity of medical care that you desire in the event that you are no longer able to speak for yourself.

It takes a little time and more than a little thought to prepare a living will. Rather than simply check-marking boxes, allow time to discuss your wishes with your family physician, family and loved ones.

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Durable Power Of Attorney For Health Care

A durable power of attorney for health care allows you to choose someone (usually referred to as a health-care or medical "agent," "representative" or "proxy") who will make health-care decisions for you if you are unable to communicate your wishes.

You may designate your spouse, another family member, a close personal friend or other trusted person of legal age - preferably someone who lives in close proximity. Talk to the person you choose to be sure he or she is capable of carrying out your health-care wishes and is willing to do so. Provide him or her with a copy of your living will. It's wise to select at least one other person as an alternate in case your primary health-care agent is unable to function when needed. In some states, your durable power of attorney for health care must be witnessed and notarized in order to be legally binding. If your state does not have an approved format to follow, you'll want to work with an attorney as you prepare this document.

Designated health-care agents have no power to act on your behalf until you can no longer communicate your own wishes (usually determined by two medical doctors). Their power ends at your death. Durable power of attorney for health care is used only for medical, not financial, decisions.

Two doctors conferring

Obtaining These Documents For Your State

Each state has its own laws regarding advance directives, and many states have their own forms. Federal law requires hospitals to provide information about advance directives to people in their communities; contact the patient representative or Department of Social Services at a hospital near you and request copies. In most - but not all - states, you won't need to hire an attorney to prepare these documents.

You may also be able to pick up advance directive forms from your local Office on Aging, State Attorney General's office, nearest chapter of the AARP, nearby senior centers or from assisted living and nursing facilities in your vicinity. Information regarding your particular state's laws can likely be found on Web sites for your state's Attorney General, Department of Health, Department of Social Services, State Bar Association, State Medical Library, State Statutes, or Department of Motor Vehicles - Driver's License Division. When using the Internet, make sure you are accessing the latest and most accurate information about your state's health-care advance directives.

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Storing Your Advance Directives for Health Care

Your living will and durable power of attorney for health care are important legal documents. Keep your signed original documents in a secure, but accessible, place. Do not put the originals in your safe-deposit box or in another location from which it would be difficult for you or your health-care agent to retrieve them at whatever time they might be needed.

Give photocopies of the signed originals to whomever you have designated to carry out your wishes. In addition to your health-care agent and alternate agent(s), the recipients of these copies should include your doctor(s), key family members and clergy and may even include close friends or others who might become involved in your health care and medical treatment. It's wise to keep a copy in your vehicles or to carry a wallet card that refers to the documents' existence and location and names your health-care agent(s). If you enter a hospital, nursing home or hospice, ask that photocopies be filed with your medical records.

In case you decide to make changes in your advance directives, keep a list of who has current copies so that you can provide them with updated versions.

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Changing Or Updating Your Documents

You may change or cancel your advance directives at any time, as long as you are considered of sound mind to do so. Being of sound mind means that you are still able to think rationally and communicate your wishes in a clear manner. Your changes must be made on the advance-directive forms that comply with your state's laws. Discard the original and copies of advance directives that no longer reflect your wishes. Make sure that your doctor and any family members who knew about your directives are aware that you have changed them, and give copies of your new documents to your doctor, health-care agent, family members or trusted friends. You should update your advance directives if your wishes change or if you move to a different state. You should also consider preparing new documents if

  • you made and finalized documents many years ago
  • the person you named as your health-care agent becomes unable to supervise your wishes or you no longer want the individual to serve in this capacity

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Starting Your Advance Directive Discussion

There are many appropriate times to have discussions about the future. One time many people consider completing Advanced Directives is when they are making plans for a vacation.

Are you a person who -

  • is reluctant to talk about death?
  • is experiencing declining health and doesn't want to discuss loss of decision making control?
  • has a hard time making decisions so nothing gets done?
  • feels medical choices should be kept private?
  • never thinks much about end-of-life health care issues?
  • thinks about getting professional help for legal affairs, but never gets around to it?


Communication strategies that work for many include -

  • Plan Ahead
  • Talk Among Family Members
  • Hold a Family Meeting

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Plan Ahead

Many families do not discuss health care plans until a crisis occurs. Then it may be too late. Once a person suffers mental incapacity, options are reduced and procedures become more complicated and costly. Others who may be unaware of a person's wishes, such as social workers, physicians, lawyers, judges, court-appointed guardians and conservators, may become involved in the decisions.

Additionally, planning ahead can -

  • avoid decisions made in crisis and ease decision-making during difficult times
  • reduce stress - emotional and financial - later on
  • make sure that an individual's life-style, personal philosophies and choices are known and protected
  • increase the options open to older persons and their families
  • decrease the likelihood of disruption of the family and required court actions
  • reduce disagreements between brothers/sisters about "what Mom or Dad wants"

Planning ahead does not prevent all problems, but it does allow individuals to consider options before they're needed and enables family/friends to make more effective decisions when end-of-life approaches.

To become more familiar with the issues before discussing them with others, test your knowlege about Advance Directives for Health Care. Take the Quiz for Health Care Advance Directives. The responses given in this quiz are accurate for residents of Idaho, Iowa, Kentucky, North Dakota, and South Dakota. Laws regarding Advance Directives for Health Care for your state may differ; however, this quiz provides important topics to consider.

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Talk Among Family Members/Video Conversations

Talking with our families about end-of-life issues, such as living wills and health-care agents, isn't easy. To learn about discussion strategies that work, click on the video buttons that follow to view streaming videos or read about people who have discussed end-of-life isssues. (Most, but not all of the individuals in the videos, had already completed their own advance directives for health care.)

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Getting the discussion started is the hardest part

"It's kind of like, hey, I'm bullet-proof, nothing is going to happen to me. But it's something to really think about." - Jerry

Few of us find it easy to talk to family members about end-of-life issues. We may have ideas about what kinds of medical treatment we would or would not want and who we would trust to make the best possible decisions for us when we are no longer able to make them for ourselves. Sharing these thoughts with our families can seem awkward, and approaching other family members about what they would want seems even more difficult. It's not surprising, then, that we have many reasons for delaying preparation of our "advance directives" - our living wills and our appointments of health-care agents to speak on our behalf when death is imminent.

Read on or click on the video buttons at the right for discussion strategies

You'll be living forever, right?

Lydia, grandmother

Transcript: "You just don't want to face it that one day you're going to die. You don't want to think about that. You just want to think that you're going to be living forever and that's not the case."

No talking about sex, politics or advance directives

Tom, manager of chaplaincy services

Transcript:

"People kiddingly will say, you know, we can talk about anything but sex and politics and I think you can probably add dying and advanced directives safely to that list. I think we're uncomfortable talking about this. I think that some people have a sort of thought that if we talk about it it may happen."

What's a living will, anyway?

Louard, job trainer

Transcript:

"Many people are really unaware of just what the living will is for. You hear will all the time, but living will, what does that mean to the average person? Will for death, living will for health care, and in fact I don't think the average person on the street really has that in his mind, you're hearing will, and you don't hear the living will part, you just hear the will part, and you're thinking, oh, boy, I'm going to die, what's going to happen to all of my money, where's my house going, the kids are going to be fighting over everything. But you're not thinking about, well now, what happens if I go into a coma, what's going to happen to me, what's going to take place, who's going to take care of me, things like that."

A family matter that matters a lot

"As difficult and challenging as this conversation is - and it clearly is - it pales in comparison with the pain and the suffering that not having it puts people through." - Tom, manager of chaplaincy services

When end-of-life decisions are made and communicated long before there's a need to put them into effect, family members can be confident that they know each other's wishes. They can have time to grow comfortable with decisions that may have been difficult at first to understand and accept. As the end nears, they can spare themselves the unnecessary grief that not knowing what to do inevitably brings. And their loved one's passing can be a time of tenderness and clarity, rather than confusion or strife.

Read on or click on the video buttons at the right for discussion strategies

Without advance directives, there's contention and debates

Mamie, college social work professor

Transcript:

"So often people are not thinking it's important and then if people do not do it then when they reach a point where they can't do it then you see a lot of contention going on and debates going on among family members and other people that really don't agree or sometimes do agree, and it becomes more difficult to accomplish what needs to be done for the person who can't do it for themselves."


I wish I knew what my husband wants

Mari, community development specialist

Transcript:

"I worry about him that he doesn't have anything. I don't know what I would do if I were put into a situation because I really don't know what it is that he wants. You think you know somebody but he may have a completely different idea of what he wants done in that situation, and so he hasn't shared that with me."


It should be my decision, not someone else's

Tom, manager of chaplaincy services

Transcript:

"I feel strongly, sort of passionately, about this. I think that when we're talking about end-of-life decisions, which would give us decisions or directives in advance, the most important event in our life-- I don't want to turn over the decision to buy a car or buy a house to someone else, and those are minor decisions in comparison to this. I think it's essential. And because it's unavoidable, because death is unavoidable, the only option that we have in not making the decision is having somebody else make it for us."

Any age is the right age

"You never know what's going to happen. You don't have to be old to die." - Lydia

Any time after you've turned 18 is a good time to write your living will and to choose a health-care agent that you trust. Some families start talking with one another about these issues and documents when they're planning a long trip overseas or have just survived a close call with a family member's health. Others begin when their children are born or reach maturity or when a spouse or parent dies. Many people are prompted by news stories - disturbing real-life cases like those of Terri Schiavo or Karen Quinlan. It's neither necessary, nor preferable, for us to wait until we are elderly or infirm.

Read on or click on the video buttons at the right for discussion strategies

Everybody should do it, old or young

Mari, community development specialist


Transcript:

"I discussed it with my friends, just because I felt that, you know, I went through the process and it was pretty easy, self-explanatory, and I think that everybody should do it, no matter how old or young you are. Once you're legal age and have some life experience and know what it is that you want to happen in that situation, you should do it."

Our children may die before we do

Vernell, teacher

Transcript:

"With the way things are going nowadays, I mean, who's to say, you know. It's so possible that our children may precede us, and I want to know what their wishes are and I would like their wishes to be carried out, too, because it's allowed for them just as it is for us. Just because they're younger doesn't mean they don't have wishes and desires about their care."

Do it when you can express your desires clearly

Mamie, college social work professor

Transcript:

"I think it's important to write them when you know what you're writing and what you want. I don't think that has a number to it. But there are some things in the literature that say anybody 40 or up should be sure that these things are in place. I would say that it's important to do it when you can express your desires clearly and understand them, believe them, and communicate them to other people. That's the ideal time to do it, in my opinion."

Make changes as your life changes

Jean, retired educator

Transcript:

"After my husband died that summer I decided I should make a will, should have a living will, should have all of those things taken care of because he left in such a hurry that I thought, now, if something should happen to me, there's got to be some things done. So, he died in May and I took care of it in June. And so after, as I said earlier, when the boys were finished with college, then I thought it was time to change the person that I had do that, and I started thinking about it, reading more about it, and then when I had my health problem and Nick did a very wonderful, efficient job, I thought definitely that was the one I was going to have, which I had already thought so but it was certainly a proving ground."

Initiating the conversation

"The conversation is the important piece. The piece of paper reflects simply in concrete ways what the conversation is. So you have to be able to talk about these things before you can write them down on paper." - Tom,manager of chaplaincy services


There are as many good ways to begin this discussion as there are families and family members. Some families are in the habit of being very direct, and that works for them. Others begin the conversation piecemeal, over a period of time. It can be helpful to use a current news story about end-of-life issues as a starting point: what would you have wanted if you had been Terri Schiavo, for example? It can be equally helpful to tag the topic of advance directives to a conversation about family financial planning. Another promising opening is to engage in a free-flowing discussion about what family members consider essential to enjoying meaningful, satisfying lives.

Read on or click on the video buttons at the right for discussion strategies

Oh, by the way: slipping it into another discussion

Mari, community development specialist

Transcript:

"My parents, I see them four or five times a week, so we're very, very close. We talk about all sorts of things, you know, family, investments, buying homes, interest rates, and so it kind of got worked into one of those discussions, when we were just talking about our life and planning and my parents asking about how much are you putting into your 401K and stuff, and, oh, by the way, this is a part of planning for life and so this is what I've done."

Acknowledge the difficulty

Mamie, college social work professor

Transcript:

"If I sense that people are already uptight and angry, I talk about, gee, this is hard. I try to face with them what appears to be their feeling or the kind of behavior that they're showing and acknowledge that with them. You don't get into the business until you get that done because if the people are not wanting to talk or they appear to be angry or they're upset or silent, it is important to acknowledge the difficulty this can be for them and then you move later."

What brings your life joy and delight?

Tom, manager of chaplaincy services

Transcript:

"In some ways, for many of us, the way we live will be reflected in the way we die. So, I think in some ways, rather than trying to have this weighty decision about what are we going to do at the end of life, an easier inroad into that would be let's talk about life now. What is it that gives meaning and purpose to our lives, to your life? What is it that brings you joy and delight? What would have to change for that delight and that meaning and purpose to change?"

It can't be just a "business thing"

Mamie, college social work professor

Transcript:

"I think it's important for parents as well as adult children to express their care and love for each other. If parents or children feel that this is just a business thing-That's why I think it's important if your parents do not live in the same community or even if they do live in the community, people need to be visiting, they need to have continual involvement so the parents really feel that their children do care about them, and vice versa. I work with adult children as well who really feel that, well, my dad was never there and they really don't care about me. I think that without that exchange among people the trust factor pops up again and I think you can continue discussions when people really believe that it's done because you love me, because you really care about me, because you really want to help me, and you're concerned about me. Many people miss that, they miss it so often."

Facing communications challenges and differences

"In my family, it's not spoken. It's going to be very difficult for my brothers and sister, because it's like, 'Don't worry about that. Let's not talk about that." - Magdalena, medical interpreter/translator

Depending on their individual personalities and values as well as on cultural and religious influences, family members often view end-of-life decisions very differently. It's important to proceed with love and sensitivity and to take these individual differences very much into account when conversing with your family about living wills and appointment of health-care agents. When you can, bridge geographic distances by talking in person.

Read on or click on the video buttons at the right for discussion strategies

Five children, five unique responses

Tom, manager of chaplaincy services

Transcript:

"If I have five children and I love them as my children I would want to involve them and tell them what my decisions are and expect that since they're five unique people there are probably going to be five unique responses and talk with each of them about that so they're all on one page and I've honored those differences and their feelings, so when the time comes they can say, you know, I really had a real hard time understanding where Dad was coming from on this but we talked about it and I'm okay with that. When that doesn't happen, all of that grieving and processing has to occur, but now it occurs in crisis."

Bridging distance isn't easy

Magdalena, medical interpreter/translator

Transcript:

"And also, and I bring this up again, distance because it's so typical that somebody from the outside who has not been present throughout the whole process comes and says, well, what about this, we need to do it this other way, and I think that's where the problems within families arise, when you have an aunt or an uncle or a brother or a sister who has not been present because they live out of town and they might look at it-- they have not been through the whole-- you know, when you are there, you all move through this current together, and you are kind of building a level of communication and trust and decision-making, but when somebody comes and arrives from the outside and has not been through that process it's very easy to say, hey, you're doing it all wrong, I'm looking at it objectively. So, I think that's, again, communication and seeing how different situations might play because not everybody is present all of the time."

Different personalities, different perspectives

Frank, computer specialist

Transcript:

"And I can see, because of the very differences in the two children we have, and they are very different personalities, that they may disagree when the time comes-that one would want to keep Mom around as long as possible, the other one may be much more detached about it and say, that's not appropriate, that's not what she wants. We don't know that. So I feel like in all of these cases, it's just good-- We have made that choice, we have made very specific kinds of statements that we want to be followed and I'm peaceful that no matter who it is that it will get taken care of that way, as opposed to sort of taking a chance."

Sharing our decisions with others

"Who was going to tell me this?" - Vernell, teacher

The conversation hasn't ended when the paperwork is signed. Letting family members who weren't part of the discussion know what you've decided is an essential part of the process. To spare them avoidable emotional distress during the time the decisions must be put into effect, let them know in advance what you've resolved to do and whom you've selected as your health-care agent.

Read on or click on the video buttons at the right for discussion strategies

What? Only the hospital knows?

image:LSYFF_Louard_and_Vernell.jpg Louard, job trainer & Vernell, teacher

Transcript: LOUARD: It seems|left] like at almost every hospital now, this is a requirement, that you designate if you have a living will or not, and if you do, they have a copy of it on file. VERNELL: At which hospital? LOUARD: I have one on file at St. Luke's and one up here at Mercy. VERNELL: When was I going to know this? LOUARD: When I die. VERNELL: Who was going to tell me this? LOUARD: I didn't realize that she wasn't aware of that.

Face-to-face is best

Frank, computer specialist

Transcript:

"Being able to have this conversation face-to-face is just something that feels more appropriate than trying to say or do it on the phone or some other way, because you want to be able to read those quiet moments and those situations and have a little more intimate conversation with, in this case, our children or whoever is going to be acting on your behalf."

I want to tell them what matters to me

Magdalena, medical interpreter/translator

Transcript:

"I'm going to say that we have written some documents, we have completed some documents that are very important for us because they explain how we want to be taken care of on our last days. And I want to talk about that with them, I want them to know what's important to me, what kind of care I want and don't want, plus I want them to know how I feel about talking. I want them to come and say, 'I know you're dying and let's talk about it,' and if you are dying, I would like to be able to do that, too. I don't want to put those feelings aside and pretend that nothing's happening."

Feeling at peace with our decisions

"I think a lot of people are scared of actually seeing it written down on paper, but for me it's more comforting because I don't have to worry about people guessing what I would have liked." - Mari, community development specialist

Whether the process of communicating with one another was simple or complex, consistently harmonious or initially upsetting, most families report a feeling of empowerment and a sense of peace once their end-of-life decisions are made and shared.

Read on or click on the video buttons at the right for discussion strategies

When it's my turn, they'll know what to do

Lydia, grandmother

Transcript:

"Maybe when my husband was alive I was there to decide for him, but when it's my turn and my husband is not here no more then my kids will have to decide for me, and I know that they're not going to need an attorney to do that. I know that they already know what to do."

It's something that we all face

Nick, physical therapist

Transcript:

"It obviously makes you think about those end-of-life issues and it gives you a heavy heart to realize that may well be an issue some day, but it's something that we all face. We don't get out of it. It makes you reflect on that briefly and kind of look ahead. Besides that, it made me realize that Mom trusts me enough to involve me in one of the biggest choices of her life, and it's something I can carry on for her."

One less thing for them to deal with

Magdalena, medical interpreter/translator

Transcript:

"It's going to make it easier for them because they are not going to have to be making tough decisions. The decision is already made for them and then they can-- they are going to have lots of-- well, who knows? They could have a lot of things to deal with and this is a very important thing that they do not have to make the decisions and deal with it."

Hold a Family Meeting

Hold a Family Meeting

The best situation to foster communication among family members may be a formalized meeting. The initiator might phone or write to each person to suggest a family meeting (held at a convenient time) to address concerns. Holding end-of-life discussions during emotionally demanding events, such as holiday and family celebrations may not be the best time for some families. It may be better to hold the meeting at another time when all are fresh. However, for others it may be the only time you can gather together and it might be a meaningful event.

Involve appropriate family members. Be sensitive to a parent's desire for privacy balanced with the need to have all members of the immediate family present. Who constitutes the 'immediate family?' Are daughters-in-law to be included with sons; how about adopted children or children by another marriage? How will their presence affect the rights of a single adult child?

Family relations may be so tense that some members will not consent to to be present. Try suggesting that an 'outside person' such as a family lawyer, advisor, social worker, family counselor or therapist facilitate the meeting. Often the mere presence of an 'outsider' will keep the mood calm and businesslike and the conversation on course. However, an outsider's presence may cause a lack of openness by family members. Decide what is best for your situation.

It may not be important nor best for all family members to know everything about the affairs of their parents. What is important is that a parent has:

  • gathered together their important papers Record of Important Papers
  • made known, to at least one family member, the location of important papers
  • prepared for the possibility of incapacity, and communicated his/her wishes, and
  • considered how to pay for long-term care http://www.financinglongtermcare.umn.edu should the need arise.

African American family, three generations

Before the meeting

Make a list of concerns to be discussed and questions that must be answered.

Before initiating discussion

Decide who will take notes. At least one person should record any tasks that require follow-up, such as, taking action to legalize the person selected to serve as power of attorney or checking into costs of long-term care insurance.

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At the Meeting/Case Studies

Here are some possible situations that may arise for you some day. Test your knowlege of these two situations presented in the Advance Directives Case Studies. Discuss these particular situations with your adult children/ trusted friend or your parent/guardian.

  • Advance Directives Case Study 1 - When is it too soon to honor a living will? When does your health care agent have the authority to make your medical decisions?

With each case study, we provide state-specific answers for Idaho, Iowa, Kentucky, North Dakota, and South Dakota. Responses for your state may vary. An elder law or estate planning attorney licensed in your state can assist you with these types of situations.

At the meeting

Start with the basics. Begin by making a list of where important household papers are kept. For a list of important papers and where they should be kept, go to Legally Secure Your Important Papers:Organize learning lesson use the Organize Your Important Papers and Record of Important Papers publications. Every adult should have a record of their important papers.

Be willing to compromise. Adult children who may have called the meeting need to be respectful of their elders. Those who presuppose they know more than another often become the focus of resentment of other family members. Remember, the purpose of the meeting is to discuss the wishes of others and resolve issues in attempting to reach agreement.

Follow-up on discussions. At the end of the meeting, review the notes and, as a group, set a timeline for completion of tasks. Encourage everyone to act promptly on any decisions that were made. Parents can take action or call upon the assistance of their adult children to complete needed tasks. Allow a parent to retain as much control as possible over their own affairs.

Communication Points

COMMUNICATE with your parent, family members, or trusted friend -

  • before, during, and/or after you complete your Advance Directives for Health Care
  • often, as situations change over time; important household papers need to be updated at least annually
  • at family meetings held periodically

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Learn More

To view the other two lessons in the Legally Secure Your Financial Future: Organize, Communicate, Prepare series, click below.

  • Lesson 1: Organize Your Important Household Papers- teaches you how to organize important household papers and provides forms and publications to help you with this task.
  • Lesson 3: Prepare Your Estate Plan (Coming Soon)- provides information about legal issues such as wills, personal representative, probate, trusts, legal terms and more.

Credits

Legally Secure Your Financial Future is a self study curriculum to help you organize your important papers, communicate your wishes about legal and other issues, and prepare your financial affairs.

Content Development by:

Marilyn C. Bischoff, M.S., Team Leader, Extension Professor and Family Economics Specialist, University of Idaho Extension; University of Idaho – Boise, 322 E. Front St., Ste. 180, Boise, ID 83702-7364; 208-364-9910; mbischof@uidaho.edu

Joanne Bankston, Ph.D., Family Economics and Management Specialist, Kentucky State University Cooperative Extension Program, Frankfort

Brad Beckman, B.S., Video Photographer, University of Idaho Educational Communications, Boise

Marlene Fritz, M.S.J., M.B.A., Extension Communications Specialist, University of Idaho-Boise

Elizabeth E. Gorham, Ph.D., Associate Professor, Extension Family Resource Management Specialist, South Dakota State University Extension, Brookings

Cheryl C. Hardison, B.S., County Extension Education Director, Monona County, Iowa State University Extension, Onawa

Beverly A. Healy, M.Ed., Extension Professor, University of Idaho Extension, Boise

Jacque Miller, M.S., Extension Agent, Larimer County, Colorado State University Extension, Ft. Collins

Debra Pankow, Ph.D., Extension Family Economics Specialist, North Dakota State University Extension Service, Fargo

Rebecca Schwarzkopf, B.S., Graphic Designer, University of Idaho Educational Communications, Moscow

Ben Troka, M.S., Video Specialist, University of Idaho Educational Communications, Moscow

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