My Baby Called the Teacher Mama

Parents who use full-time child care sometimes worry that their babies will feel more love for the child care provider than they feel for the parents. When your baby calls another woman “Mama” you may feel hurt, jealous, guilty, or confused.

Research shows that infants in child care do form strong bonds of love with caregivers. Your infant uses the caregiver much as he uses you: to calm fears and to feel secure.

But research also shows that caregivers do not replace the parents. Some of the research was done in communal towns in Israel, where babies live and sleep in special infant houses with trained caregivers and only see their parents for about three hours every evening. Even in this extreme case, babies are more strongly attached to their parents than their caregivers. Babies form these same strong attachments to adoptive parents, too.

The research is clear: Your child care provider doesn’t compete with you. He or she helps you raise your baby but never replaces you.

From your baby’s point of view, having a strong attachment to the child care provider is good. Your baby feels secure and loved in every place he spends time, both at home and in child care.

If your baby calls the child care teacher “Mama” by mistake, you can tell yourself, “How nice! My baby feels safe and loved by his teacher.” You’ll also know that no one can replace you.

Climbing Is an Important Skill

There are some things you can do to help make this risky learning experience safer.

Show your baby how to climb up and down, on and off safe objects. When you have time to help your baby with her climbing exercises, show her how to climb up. Show her how to come down crawling backward, so she doesn't do it head first.

You may want to put gates halfway up the stairs so she can't climb too high. Show your baby how to get down the stairs by coming down backward with feet first. After a few practice sessions, she will soon remember and be safer because of it.

Let your baby climb on the steps only when you are able to help her. You may want to block off the steps with a gate when you are not able to help your baby. Gates at the top or bottom of the stairs, depending on where the baby is, can prevent accidents. Don't use an accordion-style gate or a gate with a V-shaped opening. These have caused accidents and deaths. To see a picture of an unsafe gate, go to the Consumer Product Safety Commission Web site: http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/pubs/5085.pdf.

Other styles of baby gates, such as a straight-top edge, a rigid mesh screen, and a gate with openings too small for a child’s head to enter, do not present the entrapment and strangulation hazard.

Some Babies Like Field Trips

Does your baby like to shop? Some children really seem to enjoy the shopping experience. Others get overly excited by all the colors, textures, smells, and noises and may "freak out" with bad behavior. If your child can handle the stimulation, shopping can be a fun outing.

Plan before you go. Plan to go at a time when your baby is not hungry or tired. You might want to bring something from home for him to play with to keep those busy hands from grabbing something unsafe at the store. Don’t let him stand in the grocery cart. Use the seat strap, or bring one to keep him seated.

You can help your baby to learn in the store by talking to him and pointing out the different items. When you choose some apples you can say, “We need four red apples. See, one, two, three, four.” When you get cereal, show him the box, perhaps shake it, and let him see what is in it when you get home.