Released February 13, 2009
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. - Sagging or stagnant family relationships can be strengthened with a little extra effort, says James Marshall, assistant professor/extension family life specialist, with the University of Arkansas Division of Agriculture.
There are several ways family members can come closer together, but the biggest one is commitment, Marshall says. With commitment, each family member is recognized and valued, forming a kind of family allegiance.
"They're committed to help each other succeed, and there's an attitude of ‘one for all, and all for one,'" he says.
Strong family allegiances require expressions of appreciation, one of the deepest human needs. "We all want our efforts recognized," says Marshall. This means expressing gratitude for the efforts and sacrifices family members make. Families should look for the good in one another, openly acknowledge it, and celebrate successes, he says.
It's difficult to appreciate family without physically being together. There should be "quantity time" along with quality time, says Marshall.
"Strong families do things together often," he says. "They eat together, play together, and work together." These shared experiences and memories can unite a family.
For many families, faith offers another avenue for togetherness and growth.
"Their faith community becomes a second family that provides extra support," says Marshall. A spiritual connection can also provide purpose, direction, and perspective.
All families experience some kind of conflict or crisis at one time or another. The key is how they deal with it, says Marshall. Strong families attack the problem, not each other," he says. This means respecting individual perspectives, using resources wisely and planning ahead to minimize hassle and stress. A crisis is an opportunity for a family to come together, drawing on one another for strength and support.
It's not just crises that can unite a family - many find strength in daily routines.
"Strong families have routines, rituals, and traditions that give direction, meaning, and structure to the daily flow of life," says Marshall. This also helps clarify family roles and expectations. Settling into a routine isn't permanent, though: some of the healthiest families are the ones open to change.
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http://www.uaex.edu/news/february2009/0213strong_families.htm
Contact: Lamar James, (501) 671-2187, ljames@uaex.edu
