Released April 25, 2007
STILLWATER, Okla. – The news lately seems to be splashed with stories of disaster. With all this coverage it is important to talk to your children about these recent tragedies.
While the coverage can be overwhelming for adults, it can be especially confusing and frightening for younger children, said Debbie Richardson, Oklahoma State University Cooperative Extension Service assistant parenting specialist.
“Children respond to trauma in different ways. Some may respond soon after the event and others may seem to be doing fine for weeks, even months, but begin to show troublesome behavior,” she said. “It is important to know the signs that are common at different stages so you can identify problems and react appropriately.”
Parents can use the news of disasters as an opportunity to talk and listen to their children, recommend psychologists who work in trauma and recovery.
Richardson said it is important to be honest. Parents should acknowledge to children that bad things do happen, but at the same time reassure them that many people, including parents, teachers and local police, are working to keep them safe.
“Young children may show their feelings through play or drawings,” she said. “Elementary age children will express themselves with a combination of play and talking, whereas adolescents are more likely to have the skills to communicate their feelings verbally.”
Adults should be in tune to a child’s concerns, but also try to help the children put their feelings into proportion with the real risk.
Richardson suggests limiting exposure to news coverage.
“Parents should monitor how much exposure a child has to news reports of traumatic events, including the recent school shootings,” she said. “Research shows some children believe the events are reoccurring each time they see the television footage.”
Richardson noted to keep in mind most children are resilient and will return to normal activities and personality fairly quickly, yet parents should be attentive to any signs of anxiety that indicate their child may need additional support.
Some changes could show in a child’s school performance, relationships with peers and teachers, worry, sleeplessness, refusal to go to school, nightmares, headaches, stomachaches, or loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed.
Following are 10 tips for parents to consider when talking to their children after a disaster.
1. Provide children the opportunity to talk about what they are seeing on television and to ask questions.
2. Do not be afraid to admit you do not have an answer to all their questions.
3. Answer questions on the child’s level.
4. Provide ongoing opportunities for children to talk. Most likely they will have additional questions as time goes on.
5. Use this time as an opportunity to establish a family emergency plan. Having the feeling that there is something you can do may be comforting to both parents and children.
6. Allow children to discuss other fears and concerns about unrelated issues. This is a good time to investigate these topics.
7. Monitor the children’s television watching.
8. Help children understand there are no bad feelings and that a wide array of reactions is normal.
9. Try not to focus on blame.
10. Try to identify good things, such as heroic actions, families who are grateful for being reunited and the assistance offered by people around the country and the world.
For more information about talking to children about disasters or other Extension programs, contact your local county Extension office.
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Contact: Katie Reim, (405) 744-6792, katie.reim@okstate.edu
