The Secret to Good Behavior: Reward It!

At this age, discipline is simple. It means loving care and guidance. The key is reward. Many parents pay attention to their children’s behavior only when it upsets them. This teaches a child that attention only comes when she does something bad.

• Reward your baby with your loving attention when she plays well. Don't become a parent who only notices his child when she has done something wrong. Notice the good times, and give your baby a smile, a laugh, or a hug. Your attention is your baby’s best reward. Use it to encourage good, not bad, behavior.

• Prevent situations in which your baby might do something you don't like. Move the TV control to a higher shelf. Put a gate across the stairs. If your baby does something you don’t like, think of ways you could keep it from happening again. Create a trouble-free environment.

• Ignore behavior that is annoying but not harmful. If your baby pulls everything out of your sock drawer, take a deep breath and ignore it. If you pay too much attention, it teaches your baby to do things such as this to get attention from you.

• Save “No!” for times when your baby’s safety is in danger.

• Distract or redirect your baby from things you don't want her to have or do. If she has your keys and you need them, don't grab them out of her hands. Instead, interest her in another toy or activity. Your baby will let go of the keys then. It's easier to get a baby started on something else than to take something away from her.

• Provide freedom within limits. Your baby needs freedom to explore, but she also needs limits. You need good judgment to provide both. For example, your baby cannot go into the bathroom when you’re not with her; shut the door to the bathroom. Babies kept in playpens or high chairs for much of the day don't have enough freedom. They miss opportunities to learn. They don’t get a chance to move and exercise. Your baby needs freedom on the floor to safely explore. Your baby may cry about the limits you have set. You may be tempted to give in to her demands. Keep in mind that setting limits is necessary for your child's safety. Say, “I know you are angry, but you are safe. I would rather have you cry because you are angry than because you are hurt.” You can set limits while giving your baby freedom to explore and to grow. Make the area where your baby plays as safe as possible. Stick to the limits and be firm in your guidance. Offer your baby safe activities.

Plan a Special Time for You and Your Baby

It’s so easy to get caught up in day-to-day routines and pressures that you may overlook the need for a special time for you and your baby. Think about setting aside a special time each day — a time when you can give your baby your undivided attention with no interruptions.

The length of time is up to you, depending on how busy your schedule is. Even a small pocket of time, perhaps 15 minutes a day, can mean a lot for both of you. It can mean a time to enjoy and appreciate each other.

How can you spend this special time? Sing, read, play, or listen to music. Relax together. Cuddle. Enjoy being together.

If you can’t set aside 15 minutes, try doing things with your baby a few minutes several times each day.

Babies are happier and learn how to amuse themselves if parents give them moments of their time and attention. It takes less than a minute to give your baby a hug and a kiss or to play pat-a-cake.